Happy Holiday

I’ve noticed that people in other parts of the world refer to a vacation as a holiday. Only a holiday seems to mean more, it’s this magical elusive thing that seems to mean going far away for a long time and completely detaching from every day life…from work. So, I hope this post about my holiday experiences inspire you to take your own holiday and completely detach for a few weeks, no matter how scary that might initially sound. I promise that it is sooooo worth it! And spoiler alert: the fruit is actually found upon your return.

Maybe some people think I’m crazy.  Maybe they think I don’t take my job seriously enough.  Maybe they think I’m running away from the real world.  Maybe they think my days are numbered.  Maybe I’m all of these things, although I hope my days are many. And maybe I’m OK with that.

Because there are several things that are not maybes, that I know in my soul to be true: I needed this.  I needed to get away.  I needed to explore unseen areas.  Since childhood, I’ve had dreams where I can fly. I “flap” my arms and I go higher.  I leave them down and I go lower.  I soar over the earth.  Free, uninhibited.  I’ve always had an innate desire to break free. But I’ve also been taught to buckle down. And I needed to detach from that. From a job, a career, a business that I have never ever fully detached from, until this year. After many years and ALOT of self-reflection, I now have this internal barometer where I feel when things are soul sucking or life giving, and I’m real sensitive to this scale.  What a blessing this is.  And during Covid, I felt the soul sucking.  Every day was hard.  I was lonely and crabby and even thought about changing careers.  I was just soooo annoyed with everything.  And I was so tired all the time. 


So for my survival, for my mental health, for my career, I needed to detach. I needed to fly and see new surroundings. I needed to get out of my routine.   I needed a break. I got my passport for the first time and I booked three trips that required a passport.  One with my kids, to show them the world too.  To prove to ourselves that we could do it just the three of us. One with friends, human connection is one of my favorite things.  And this last and furthest one, alone.  To prove to myself that I can do things alone.  To spend 12 days getting lost in my own mind, pushing my comfort zone and staying with complete strangers but doing things that I love, only to hopefully set my compass even closer to my true north than ever before.  To peel away the layers and buffers of day to day life to see what I really want, to talk to God and see what He wants for me. 


I’ve also really been in love with control and streamlined efficiency throughout my life.  And travel is one setting where you give up complete control and it’s anything but efficient. And this has been good for me.  I’ve actually relaxed more when traveling!  And I’ve done some scary things (float plane, mountain ATVing, Uber cantilevered lift, handstands at the top of the Space Needle, canoeing up to a glacier, feet away from lions and elephants with nothing but open air between us) without wondering about the logistics behind them.  Just trusted.  Seven years ago, I would sometimes get severe anxiety just flying on an airplane. Actually, this is an area where God as really be working through me lately.  To trust HIM.  So this has been some good practice.


I can tell you that I’ve had three trips of a lifetime in a year.  Every one was different in their own way.  I have a collection of memories that I will always have.  I strengthened my relationships with my kids, friends and self this year.  I can tell you I’ve met some pretty incredible people from around the world that also place importance on disconnecting and travel, which makes me think maybe I’m not so crazy after all. I look at things differently.  I felt more alive than I ever have in each trip. 

But you know what??  I felt MOST ALIVE when I returned home.  When I was reintegrated into the life that I already have but with the collection of memories and experiences fresh in my head.  Every time I returned loving my job and was ready to hit the ground running.  These times between trips have been the most productive times of my career.  AND I was happy doing it.


So how am I going to do 2023?  I’m for sure disconnecting. I don’t know when or where to, I have some things on my list.  I’m going to only settle for this happy professional version of me.  I’m expecting a higher version of myself. If I get crabby and short with a client, I will know that it’s time for a break.  And I truly hope that my clients understand this.  And I really hope they see a difference and a value on their end too. Thank you to all of them and my friends and family for their patience in me doing what I needed to do this year. We only get one chance at this life.  I hope this inspires you to take your own Happy Holiday.

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Fear vs. Exhilaration